5 years

So my whole plans today was to go to the cemetery out in Molalla and visit my grandma but then with Eden hurting her ankle today was the only day i could get it her in to the doctor and even though her appt isn't til the afternoon I didn't want to go all the way out there and then back.

I am having a hard time believing it has been 5 years since Grandma passed I miss her everyday and even though i don't think about her every day there are days i just wish I could call her and ask her advice. I definately miss her cooking and every Sunday coming home from church and having lunch which usually included a 5 course meal anything she could put on the table which included left overs from the night before. Then afterwards taking a nap because I was so full.

I miss her advice or just being a a kid and remembering sleeping in her bed and if I was at her house when I would go to school she would get up early and make sure i had my lunch which of course ended up being a huge lunch. I remember the weekends when we would go to garage sales and she would buy things that she didn't need but they usually ended up being gifts for people at church or her endless shopping trips to buy food or Toliet paper which even as a grown up I never ran out. I know that sounds weird but if you knew my grandma you know what I am talking about. She had a heart of gold and was always thinking about other people.

I know if she was alive she would be telling me to take a moment and rest and breathe and stop going that I need to relax. She would also tell me that some of the stuff I had to deal with to let God handle it and that I need to put more faith in God that he will get me through the hard times.

So today I remember a great women who I am proud to call my best friend and my Grandma I miss you Grandma

So I know its been awhile since I've posted anything i could use the excuse of being really busy but really I have been really trying to figure out what I want to do with my life I have been working a lot so that has taken my mind off a lot of things but then I keep thinking I have a degree and I should be doing something with that but every time I look for a job I get depressed because I can't find something that I want to do, but I am realizing that I don't want to stay in retail I want to be able to have weekends off were the kids and I can take a weekend and go away don't get me wrong I like having every other weekend off but there are the weekends that the kids are at their dad's which would be great for me just to go on a road trip. I also am thankful I have a job because I know there are people that don't but I figure I got my degree I should be doing something with it.

The girls are good keeping busy with school have had some issues with grades with the children but won't get into that very much because it is getting resolved and hopefully this summer we can get madison in soccer and Eden wants to do gymnastics again.

I will try to write more later this week.